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(Procol Harum reference)


A couple of follow-ups are in order.

I did make it home, albeit in a very uncomfortable way, confirming my suspicion that drunks drive better than sick people (I know MADD people will be MADD, but I am just telling my story).

And I proceeded to barf several more times, thus belying the notion that this was some sort of anticipatory nausea gig on my part.

More likely, I think, a minor bug or a piece of bad food. Who knows?

In fact, the entire way home, my largest worry was that I would barf inside of my car, my baby. And that perhaps I might also cause an accident when I did so.

But I did not. I made it home, and THEN I barfed. So all was right with the world.

I barfed several times, in fact, and the last couple of times, there was some blood in there, and that sort of worried me, what with the Coumadin and all of that, but I decided I was simply barfing as well as one can barf and that this was bringing up a touch of red to go with the whiter shade of pale.

I DO worry, just like everyone else, but I am apparently well-steeped in denial strategies. I use them to my advantage whenever permitted. At this time, my wife was out of town, so I was free to deny to my heart’s content. 🙂

Oh, and I did go for the CAT scan. There were some issues…the hospital had one machine down, so they sent me over to the Imaging Center I’d gone to first, but it was pretty basic. A very nice lady taking care of me, as they scanned my head/neck area as well as my chest.

I should feel worried about this, since I get the results in two days, but somehow I am not. Really. OncoMan seemed confident, and I guess that helps me to be confident too. In addition, I do not believe you gain much from worrying beforehand, although I know that is easier to say than to do.

Still, I am not worried. I AM waiting for it to hit me. I am.

I am wondering if I am now at some existential point of reference or if I am simply tired of all of the drama. I hope it is neither. But I wonder why I am not worrying. I guess you could say that I am worrying about why I am not worrying :).

My first thought is that I am really confident of the results, since OncoMan seems to be. But that sort of puts me into another dread mode: how will I react if we are wrong? I have a feeling that somewhere inside I am prepared for that too.

I am fortunate to have brave friends here, in this CSN joint, who show me the way. That is probably the answer. I have been well-schooled.

In any event, the barfing is behind me. That is always a good thing.