(Canned Heat reference)
One week since chemo and I go in tomorrow for round two. I don’t want to sound cavalier, especially since I went to Virginia Tech (inside joke) but it wasn’t so bad. It was annoying.
It was not devastating, it was not debilitating, it was not horrible, it was just annoying.
There was some cramping, there was some bone aching, there was some headache, there was some nausea, there was some fatigue, but never all at the same time, and so it was tough to figure out whether any of these things had anything to do with chemotherapy.
In the old days (:)), I got sick, and I knew why. And it lasted for a couple of days. And I knew why. This time, none of that. Just the annoyance of not knowing if chemo had anything to do with it.
I can live with that. I can smile with that. I can be happy with that. A minor annoyance and one I can live with.
I guess we will see down the road, starting with tomorrow, if this stuff is going to accumulate and become the big bad wolf that others have warned about. I don’t think so. I think they continue to find ways to make all of this easier to take, and I am now a happy recipient of their efforts.
In the meantime, I wonder if I even need this stuff. Even OncoMan seemed ambivalent about it, and, actually, if I were an OncoMan, I’d be ambivalent about everything, I guess.
The thing is, he advised to start now or not start. That clearly meant that it would do no good if I didn’t get rolling, and I am all about getting rolling, but I’m not sure if he meant that he wasn’t sure it would do any good, or if he meant it wasn’t coming back but we needed to cover all bases.
I like to think the latter, of course, and he doesn’t strike me as the type that understands nuance. I am starting, in fact, to wonder about his judgment. In the meantime, I said yes, of course, and I am going to take the poison.
I’ve taken the poison. I’ll take it again in the morning.
It is poison, of course. It is not a heat-seeking missile. It does not strike a target and kill only the target. There is collateral damage. In fact, your entire body is a victim.
Frankly, I believe chemotherapy is the least persuasive of the treatments against cancer. I know that they are making it better, I know that they are making it easier to handle, and I know, clearly, that it has proven to be a successful treatment against cancer. But I believe it is a loser in the long run. As the horse bettors might say, it has no legs.